After the success of my post about 4 Ways I Make My Marriage Amazing, I thought it would be a great topic to talk about a little further. Instead of just hearing from me, I thought it would be wonderful to hear from others how they make their marriage great. Today Becky Wolfe from Frame to Freedom is giving us 15 Ways to Have a Successful Marriage.
I’m so excited to share this article with you. Becky like the rest of us has faced trials head on. On her blog she talks about how they have Paid off $78,000 in Debt in 17 months, How to Break the Spending Cycle, and Clothes You Should Spend More On. After reading just these 3 posts, I became a HUGE fan of Becky’s. I can’t wait for you to see what she has to say so you can become a fan as well.
According to the American Psychological Association, 40-50% of marriages end in divorce. Do you know anyone who has been divorced? Chances are you probably do. Marriage takes work. In fact, relationships take work. We are involved in relationships everyday with our family members, coworkers, kids, friends, etc. All of these relationships require work. In this article, you will find practical tips to have a successful marriage and how to invest time in your marriage.
First, I am not a psychologist or therapist, but I am a married woman. Greg and I have been together for almost 6 years and I have learned a lot about relationships during this time. I have had the opportunity to see what successful marriage is all about from others who have been married longer than we have and I take their advice. Of course every relationship is different, but taking the time to figure out what is needed to make your relationship prosper is worth it.
Investing in your marriage is taking the time to solve the problems and work on your relationship. It is possible to have a happy, healthy marriage successful Marriage.
15 Ways to have a Successful Marriage
• listen to each other.
I mean really listen. I know it is hard when kids are screaming, the dog is barking or you have your phone in hand, but good relationships require good listening skills. You should be able to repeat back what your spouse just said when you are in conversation together. I admit I am not always good at this.
• listen with the intent to understand.
Clearly men and women think very differently. Women want to be loved and men want to be respected. I heard a friend say this once and it is from the Bible. I think this is a very true statement though. It has been in our marriage anyways. In the beginning of our marriage, I really didn’t listen to understand Greg with the intent to understand what he needed. I listened and thought I knew better than he did on most areas of marriage and our decision making life.
I heard this quote from a friend and a lightning bolt went off. He had indicated several times that he felt like I didn’t respect him. This was a turning point in our marriage. He will tell you that most of the time, he now feels respected. Sometimes I slip up because I am human, but for the most part I try to emulate respect to him.
• spend time with one another.
It is so easy to forget to spend time with your spouse. You both get busy with work, kids, your own things and sometimes your spouse gets the back burner. It probably isn’t intentional, it just happens. You should make an effort to discuss how to spend time with each other. Your relationship and marriage are worth it.
• understand the other person’s love language.
Still one of my favorite books (actually Greg introduced it to me) is Gary Keller’s The 5 Love Languages. When you know which love language is important to your spouse, it becomes easier to show them that you love them.
• create goals together.
Create common goals to work towards- financial goals, a bucket list, vacation goals, family plan. Whatever it is, having goals as a couple help to keep you on the same path for the future. It’s like you always have a teammate this way. You two are always working to win together. You also get to celebrate together when a goal is achieved.
• spend time apart.
Also very important if you ask me. I need time alone as does Greg. We have more to talk about if we spend some time apart. I also mean that you should have time to just be yourself. The person you were before you got married. Do things you loved to do before the chaos with kids and marriage.
• be the other person’s best friend.
It is fun to know that you will always have a best friend no matter what. That is what your spouse is. You get to confide in someone, laugh with them, look silly, just be yourself with your significant other. It is a great feeling.
• when you fight, fight with respect for the other person.
Name calling doesn’t do any good in fights. There is no point to it. I have also found that not taking blame for something I did also serves no purpose. It doesn’t help me grow and it only makes the fight worse. Own up to your mistake if you did something wrong. It will squash the fight and it will help you grow as a person.
• be the first to say you are sorry
(even when you think you won the argument).
Does it really matter who won the fight? Let me answer that for you. No. Here’s why. When you are arguing about something with your significant other, it means that one of you got hurt in some way or you disagree with something. What you need is a solution to the problem and not anger, name calling or an “I am right” attitude. Tell the other person you are sorry for what you did. It opens up your communication lines sooner and you come to a solution a lot sooner.
• have separate goals.
I love this one. I am sure you have goals that are separate from your spouse. Have you shared your goals and dreams with your spouse? You should. When you can open up about your dreams with your spouse and you find out that they can support those dreams, it is a game changer for your marriage.
• surprise each other.
Plan something elaborate that your spouse of significant other wouldn’t expect. Shake things up and bit and keep them interesting.
• spend time talking about why you fell in love.
It keeps the marriage alive if you can really go back to the route of why you fell in love with them in the first place.
A successful marriage takes work, but taking the time to invest in the relationship is so worth it. Working on your relationship and figuring out what you each need to be happy will help create a solid foundation for the marriage. It is easy to let your spouse take the back burner so take special efforts to make sure you each feel loved and appreciated in the relationship.
Becky is a mom of two beautiful little boys, a wife to one ornery man who I have had the pleasure of being married to for 4 incredible years, a part-time physician assistant, a real estate investor, and a lover of writing and bringing groups of people together. My greatest joy is helping others as I believe God made me a steward to inspire and share His love with others.
She blogs over at Frame to Freedom, where she talks about Lifestyle, Food, Real Estate, and Finance. There is a wonderful VIP Membership where you can find some fabulous freebies to help you save money.