God has thoughts and opinions about everything, and honestly they are the only one’s that will matter in the end. What is God’s Opinion of the Screaming Parent? Let’s find out.
As a mother of 6, there are a lot of things I’ve dealt with over time. When I see a parent struggling with a child, like I’ve struggled before, my first is to help especially if it is someone that I have a relationship with already. The sad part is that it doesn’t always work out as I planned.
A few years ago a friend was struggling with her son, who had received inconsistent discipline. The boy wouldn’t mind, is what she told me. I know the parents and have seen them in action. The father is addicted to video games, and his way of dealing with his son is to stop long enough to scream at him when the boy has gone “too far.” The mother just ignores him and his siblings allowing them to run wild unless someone gets hurt.
After watching this for a while, I tried to give advice after an incident. I was immediately told by the father that he already knew everything I would ever know about parenting and didn’t need my help. He told me to worry about my own bratty kids, and that I had nothing he wanted to hear. Until my kids were perfect, and even then, my advice wasn’t wanted or needed.
Yep, I stood there with my mouth hanging open in shock.
To this day, it makes my blood boil to think about it, and when I see the parents of this boy in action I feel pity for the child. No child deserves to be ignored or screamed at like this.
There is the ridiculous part of me that thinks maybe if I smack them they will gain some sense. The part of me that is selfish, thinks I should just let them mess up their kid. I know he and his siblings will have to pay for it later, but it really isn’t my problem. There is also the part of me that loves this boy, I want a better life for him. I want him to grow up knowing he is loved, and my heart aches for him and his siblings.
So my emotions sway constantly and lately more to the not my problem, and that worries me. I knew it was time to go to God for help.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
This scripture is geared toward fathers who are vital in a child’s life. Fathers tend to have the heavier hand when raising children. God is telling fathers and parents in general to not make their children angry, but raise them with discipline and instruction to know HIM.
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness.
You are probably wondering why I added this scripture, well, the parents I mentioned above attend church regularly. They put on a great show of being great parents, but as soon as they are away from the people at church they become different people. It appears as if everything is fine and great when in actuality it is bad.
What is God’s Opinion of the Screaming Parent?
As I said, I know these people; if I came to them and started yelling at them when they were doing something wrong, they would blow up. So why do they think it will be good for their children?
It comes down to this, parenting is WORK. It is a completely selfless act. Raising children isn’t about ME, but about THEM. It is about their relationship with God. If the only time my children listen to me is when I yell at them, then I’m in trouble and so are they.
God doesn’t come down from heaven yelling, “Why don’t you listen to me? Why do I have to repeat myself over and over? How dare you do this to me?” God speaks softly to His children with love, grace, and mercy. None of those exist if you are screaming at your children. So that means you aren’t discipling them with instruction, but actually abusing them and turning them away from God.
As for the second verse, you may fool the people you want to fool by putting on a show, but the people who really know you know the truth. They see you for who you are, a liar and a fool. They see how you are destroying lives; because you are a fool who refuses to listen to wisdom and instruction, you will pay the consequences. Proverbs 1:7
Finally, you can’t fool God. He KNOWS! He sees everything you do. Like the whitewashed tomb filled with corruption, he knows what is in your heart. He KNOWS who you really are, not the person you present yourself to be. When it comes down to it, His thoughts are what really matters. It certainly isn’t mine.
This parenting thing is HARD, and I mean REALLY REALLY HARD! I’ve learned more about God by raising my children than I ever did before I had them. I’ve spent more time in prayer since having them—I mostly ask, “God, please tell me what to do!”, or, “God please help me!”
The funny thing is that through parenting, I’ve learned about God’s relationship to me as His child. When I want to hold things against my children, I hear my Grandma’s wisdom, “Hold it to their account like you want God to hold it to yours.” She told me I’m as much of a sinner as my husband and children. While I need to teach them, I also need to give them the grace, mercy, and love I want God to give me.
“Dads. Do you honestly expect anybody to believe that you can’t find 20 minutes to step away from your computer or turn off the television to play with your child? It has to happen every single day. Do you not understand that children will hinge their entire facet of trust on whether or not their dad plays with them and how involved he is when he plays with them? Do you know the damage you do by not playing with your children every day?” – Dan Pierce of Single Dad Laughing
So when it comes down to it, even though I may be right in my assessment, their parenting is between them, their child, and God. If they do it wrong, their child will have to pay the consequences, and ultimately they will too.
Before you go
I also found another article in the Huffington Post HERE.