You’ve had a hard day. The kids have been sick and needy. You haven’t slept well since the baby came. You are tired and have a headache of your own. The toddler is crying because you gave her a cookie with white icing on it instead of pink. Your husband walks in the door to find you still in pjs, the house is a mess and dinner hasn’t started. The first thing he says to you is, “What happened here? What did you do all day?”
That was IT! The straw that broke the camel’s back for your day. You lose it all over your husband!
(Now don’t get me wrong, what he said really wasn’t the smartest thing he could have said, but he doesn’t deserve to bear the brunt of your stress.)
You find yourself going on a tirade. As the words come out of your mouth you realize what you are saying and start thinking, “What in the world? This is ridiculous!” You really wish you could grab all of the words that are pouring out and shove them down your throat, but it is too late. The damage is done.
Mom’s Got a Migraine
You have a migraine. One of the worst you’ve had in a long time. You were up most of the night sick and couldn’t sleep for how bad your head hurt anyway. All you want is peace and quiet.
Everything is fine until the 3 year old wakes up and she won’t stop talking, singing, dancing and just in general being loud. You ask her several times to be quiet, but she isn’t listening. Finally you lose it and scream, “What is wrong with you? Can’t you see my head hurts? You are so annoying! Just go away!”
And she does, but not before sobbing and with a broken heart.
Mom says Your Actions are Ugly
Your little girl has been behaving horribly to her brothers. In fact, it was so bad, you tell her she is behaving ugly. You remind her that God made her beautiful and she shouldn’t be behaving this way.
In a fit of rage the little girl cuts a huge chunk of her hair right on the top in the front.
You then proceed to lose it on the little girl. She replies, “but you said I was ugly.”
I will neither confirm nor deny that I’ve done any of these.
I do know that these things leave scars, permenant scars. Not just on those who they are sent to, but for the one who speaks them as well.
With our tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it, we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth comes praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water come from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
James is asking, how can your praise God your Father with your mouth and curse other humans, who like you, are made in God’s likeness?
Are you drinkable, fresh water or salty water that is spewed when drank?
You can’t expect your children to be sweet and mild mannered when you are a screaming banshee if things don’t go the way you think they should. You have to display to your children how you want them to behave. They learn their good and bad behavior from YOU.
But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.
This scripture is pretty much self-explanitory. What you say is how you really feel in your heart?!? WOW!
This scripture makes you think, not only about what you say, but how what you say, says about you. If everything that comes out of my mouth is critical than I am a critical person. If everything that comes out of my mouth is uplifting, than I am a joyful, grateful person.
Your Words Matter More Than You Know
It isn’t possible to truly love God, if you don’t love what comes from him. To our children, we are everything. What we say, think and feel about them means everything.
If we say they are annoying, they believe it and eventually won’t come around. If we tell them they are ugly, even if their behavior is ugly, they will never believe they are beautiful.
If all our husband’s see is stress and we take it out on him all the time, maybe he will decide he doesn’t want to come home anymore and find someone else to be with.
Are you speaking life into the people you love the most, your children and husband? Or are you tearing down those precious souls who need you?
I KNOW it is hard. I know how stressful your day can be. I KNOW about a migraine, speaking without thinking, taking it out on your husband when you day has just been over the top. I KNOW!
You are NOT alone!
This is every Mama’s journey. We are sisters in the struggle, and it is REAL!
I’m preaching to myself here as much am I am talking to anyone reading this. This is why I developed our second rule, the first being “if it’s not yours leave it alone.” The second rule is “Words have meanings. Say what you mean and mean what you say.”
You matter Mama and your words most certainly matter, especially to your husband and children. Don’t speak when you are angry. Don’t speak when you are in pain. Don’t speak when you feel like you have no control over yourself. It would be best to bite your tongue than to speak words that tear down instead of build up.
Have you said words you regret? Make it right with that person and with God. I know it hurts. I know it is hard, but I promise you will feel better for doing it and you will NEVER regret doing it.
Make your words really matter. Speak life!