Money is one of the biggest things married people fight over. In the beginning of our marriage we were like everyone else and fought about it.
Stephen has a fear of going in the red and I have a fear of not having a safety net of money. This may seem like the same thing, but it isn’t.
He is about not spending money at all. Honestly I do most of the spending, but I’m the one who buys everything for the family. I don’t mind spending money, but I want about $300- $400 left in the account. He questions everything, while I’ve researched and found the best deals possible and know I’m getting the best bang for my buck.
Friday was a pay day for our family, and while this is a 3 pay check month, things are tight. We are attacking our bills with Gazelle intencity. We desperately want to be debt free and we are saving for a Walt Disney World Vacation. By the time I had paid all of our bills, set the money aside for savings, and pulled out the cash for gas and food, there is less than $200 and we have to make it until the 15th when Stephen gets paid again.
I don’t know about you, but that sets off alarms for me. What if we need something? What if I need to get away from the kids for a date night with my husband? What if a bill comes up that I forgot about? What if….?
I hate not having money sitting in my account in case of an emergency. It strikes fear in my body, making me sick to my stomach, and starts a panic attack. I start thinking of ways to make money fast, things that never really pan out. I start considering getting a job, for about 10 minutes and then my kids look at me and say “NO! We need you,” and the thought goes away.
As I sat here paralyzed before my computer knowing I needed to write this for Sunday, I felt the drive to write about what I’m feeling. Where do I start? What do I do?
As a little girl my Grandpa taught me a game, he called it “God Speaks’ game. He told me to open my bible at any random place and start reading. He told me anywhere in the Bible you will find God speaking to you. He is constantly telling you how to deal with all situations, no matter where you look, Old or New Testament, he is helping you.
So I grabbed my bible, said a quick prayer for help, and it opened to 2 Timothy 1. Verse 7 grabbed my attention and I want to share it with you.
2 Timothy 1:7
For God gave us not a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control.
God gave, this means He actively did this. It wasn’t just something we were born with. He gifted these things to us.
Not a spirit of fear. If God didn’t give me a spirit of fear, then it must come from Satan. Anything that doesn’t come from God, must come from Satan. So when fear overcomes you, you know this is Satan attacking you. He is trying to destroy you.
A spirit of power. We have control. We can Satan to leave us alone. Kick him out of your house. Yell, scream, demand, make him leave. He has no control over you that you don’t give him.
A spirit of love. We were made to give and receive love naturally. God is love and he made us from His love. Love is one of the most powerful forces in the world. Love is the difference between giving a snarky retort to a disrespectful child and reminding them that God is watching and doesn’t want them to treat their mother this way and giving the scripture as proof.
A spirit of Self-control. This means God gives you the ability to control yourself.
2 Corinthiians 10:5
We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey God.
God has given us the power to take EVERY THOUGHT captive. I can grab that thought as it comes into my head and tell is NO, I will not believe you. I can make Satan stop. He has no control over my mind unless I allow it.
How to stop fear in its tracks
This is something I’ve been working on for almost a year now. For the longest time one of my big fears is that I was going to die while my children were young like my aunt did. Every time I had a headache that lasted longer than a few hours or caused me to be sick to my stomach, fear would settle on my heart. I would cry myself to sleep.
I spent some time working with a life coach and she gave me some great advice. These fears usually came to me when I was exhausted and worn out. She told me to go to bed and tell myself that if things are this bad in the morning I would call the doctor and get it checked out. I began taking that thought/ fear captive and things changed for me. I would sleep better, I would wake up rested. I was no longer afraid.
This is what I did on Saturday with the money issue. We have everything we need. The cars are filled with gas. There are groceries in my fridge and freezer. There is NOTHING we need. Anything else would be wishes that don’t need to be fulfilled now. I took control of my thoughts and I WON!
If I can do this, who spent 18 years in fear, so can you. You can take captive that thought that is trying to destroy your life. You can tell Satan to leave you alone. You can overcome this. Fear comes from Satan. God gave you POWER, LOVE and SELF-CONTROL.
What fears are trying to control your life? Is it a fear of failing if you start your own business? Is it a fear that you will NEVER lose that weight? Is it a fear that your child with Austism will never get better? Is it a fear that you are trapped in a marriage that is making you miserable and will never get better? Is it a fear of your child getting ill and dying? Is it a fear of dying yourelf?
Grab those thoughts. Take them captive. Put them in a black pit of despair. You are incharge of your thoughts. Do not give Satan any room. Take the power God gave you and put it to work! I promise it works.