I know I talk a lot about how hard it is to be a mom. This is mostly in part because I never want you to feel like you are doing this alone. It is easy to feel like you are facing the battle alone when you are in the midst of the insanity of life. There’s nothing worse than feeling like you are alone. Those are the lies of Satan.
All day long you give and give to your family. Your life is dedicated to serving and doing good for those you love. This is draining on anyone.
It is so easy to just say, “That’s IT. I’m DONE!” It is easy to walk away and never look back.
This happened to me the other day. The house was LOUD and was getting louder by the minute. Everyone wanted to be heard so they would scream louder than the person next to them so they could be heard. I will admit that I screamed at everyone to just SHUT UP!
Looking back it wasn’t the best way to handle it, even though everyone was quiet at least for the moment. All I could think about is that I wanted quiet. I wanted peace at all cost. And that day it was at the cost of the emotional needs of my children.
I was done! I was tired of doing good and no one cared. I was tired of constantly cleaning my house only to have it trashed within minutes. I was tired of spending hours planning, prepping and cooking meals only to hear complaints. I was tired of the complaints that needed items weren’t cleaned when the people complaining were old enough to clean said item their self. I was DONE!
I locked myself in my bedroom crying in anger and frustration. It was in my tears that I realized I was broken, weary and just needed a break.
I remember changing my clothes and leaving the house for a while. I took a drive, spent some time alone. Driving while crying is hard.
When I finally settled down I remembered this scripture. Grandma had written it down several times. It was her way to remember something she thought was important.
2 Thessalonians 3:13
“As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good.”
I remember arguing with God about this. Telling him I’m the only one doing good in the house. I’m the one making sure things get done. Where in the world would they be without me?
The verse came back to me. Do not GROW weary in doing good.
Grow means to pass into the condition gradually, to increase in size, This didn’t happen overnight. I wasn’t weary at just this moment. It is something I’ve allowed to increase in size, to pass into the condition gradually.
Then Do not grow WEARY in doing good. Weary means to be physically and mentally fatigued, to be tired by overuse and strain. This too didn’t happen overnight. I wasn’t just weary at this moment, but I had allowed myself to become weary of everything.
Finally, do not grow weary in DOING GOOD. The doing good part has always been easy for me to see. Grandma taught this to me. It was part of her daily life. She was always doing good and told me that doing good for others can lift your spirits like nothing else can. I get this. But that day, the doing good was ignored for a screaming mom.
There are several things here that I learned and wanted to share. I need to take better care of myself. When I ignore the self-care, I can’t take care of anyone else. I’m exhausted, worn out, and have nothing, not even the scraps to give my family. This is not only not who I don’t want to be, but wrong. I have to make taking care of myself a priority because no one else is going to do it.
By not taking the time to take care of myself I as weary. I was physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually fatigued. At that moment the weariness shot out of me like slime and stuck to everything around me. It would have been better for me to walk away than to shoot it out like I did. It would have been better for me to step outside the house than get in the muck.
Finally, doing good has to become so ingrained in me that I don’t forget about it. It has to be second nature like writing my name. It must become more important to me than anything else because it is what I want my children to have and know. I want them to see this side of Christ in me.
I know we all make mistakes. I know we all fall apart. I know this isn’t who we want to be, but sometimes it is who we are. We need to face this part of ourselves and remove it. It needs to go away. We need to be better, to be more.
What are you going to do this week to prevent yourself from becoming weary of doing good?